THE RESILIENT HUB PODCAST · SEASON 11, EPISODE 3
SHOW NOTES
Welcome to Season 11 of The Resilient Kid — The Talk.
This is our most important season yet. We are spending all ten episodes on the conversations most parents dread and most children desperately need: puberty, periods, consent, and sex.
Why now? Because at The Resilient People — the organisation behind The Resilient Kid and The Resilient Teen — we see the gap every single week. The gap between what young people need to know and what they are actually being told. And in that gap, young people are filling in the blanks themselves — from the internet, from peers, from pornography.
The research is unambiguous. Young people who have ongoing, honest, age-appropriate conversations with trusted adults navigate adolescence with more confidence, more safety, and significantly fewer harms. The conversation is the protection.
So that is what this season is. For parents first — and then, in the second half of the season, directly for young people themselves.
This first episode asks the question underneath all of it: why do we avoid these conversations, what does the silence actually cost our children, and how do we start — even when we don't know how?
TimeSection00:00
Opening note and season introduction
02:00 Why this season exists
04:00 Pete's Story — Part One
09:00 The Research — Why the silence isn't neutral
14:00 Top Tips — How to start even when you don't know where to begin
17:00 Pete's Story — Part Two
21:00 The Bigger Picture
23:00 What this season is — and what's coming
24:30 Outro & Resources
Research by Brook consistently shows that a significant proportion of young people in the UK identify the internet as their primary source of information about sex and relationships — ahead of parents and schools. In many cases this means exposure to pornography before any educational context has been provided.
?? Brook — Sexual Health & Wellbeing - Brook
The Sex Education Forum's Young People's RSE Poll found that many young people feel their relationships and sex education — both at school and at home — leaves them underprepared. They consistently report wanting more honesty, more real-world relevance, and someone who will talk to them like a real person.
?? Sex Education Forum — sexeducationforum.org.uk
Ofsted's landmark review found that sexual harassment and abuse among young people — including online — had become normalised in many school environments. Young people reported incidents were so common they had stopped reporting them. The review highlighted the urgent need for high-quality, honest RSE from an early age.
?? Ofsted Review of Sexual Abuse in Schools and Colleges (2021) — Ofsted
Dr. John Bancroft's research on human sexuality argues that shame around the body and sexuality is not something children are born with. It is learned — transmitted through the discomfort, silence, and subject-changing of the adults around them. Children follow our emotional lead. Our awkwardness teaches them that their bodies and their questions are something to be ashamed of.
?? Bancroft, J. — Human Sexuality and Its Problems (Elsevier, 2008)
The NSPCC's research underpinning the Talk PANTS campaign demonstrates clearly that children who know the correct anatomical names for their body parts, and who have been given permission to speak about their bodies, are significantly better equipped to recognise and report abuse. Correct language is a safeguarding tool.
?? NSPCC — Healthy relationships | NSPCC
?? Talk PANTS — Talk PANTS: Conversation to help keep children safe | NSPCC
The Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) works to remove child sexual abuse material from the internet and provides guidance to parents on online safety. Their research and parent guidance is clear: open conversation — not restriction alone — is the most effective protection.
?? Internet Watch Foundation — Eliminating Child Sexual Abuse Online | Internet Watch Foundation IWF
The PSHE Association supports schools in delivering high-quality personal, social and health education, including RSE. Their guidance emphasises ongoing, age-appropriate conversation with trusted adults as the strongest protective factor for young people navigating puberty and relationships.
?? PSHE Association — PSHE Association | Charity and membership body for PSHE education
Start before you're ready
— there is no perfect moment. Imperfect and started is better than perfect and never.
Use the correct words — penis, vulva, vagina, testicles. Correct anatomical language from the beginning reduces shame and increases safety.
Make it ongoing and light — the best conversations happen in car journeys and at breakfast tables. Small and frequent beats big and terrifying.
Tell them what you didn't get — honesty about your own experience builds trust and models the courage to try.
Use this season — every episode is a resource. Listen first, then share, or listen together. That is exactly what it is here for.
Brook — sexual health information and advice for under 25s | Sexual Health & Wellbeing - Brook
Sex Education Forum — research and resources on RSE | sexeducationforum.org.uk
NSPCC — keeping children safe, Talk PANTS | NSPCC | The UK children's charity
PSHE Association — school RSE guidance | PSHE Association | Charity and membership body for PSHE education
Internet Watch Foundation — online safety for families | Eliminating Child Sexual Abuse Online | Internet Watch Foundation IWF
Ofsted RSE Review 2021 — Ofsted
Relate — support for parents navigating relationship conversations | Home | Relate
YoungMinds — children's mental health support | YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People
Childline — for young people who need to talk | Childline | Free counselling service for kids and young people | Childline | 0800 1111
Did this episode resonate? Are you a parent who has been putting off The Talk — or one who has started and wants to share what helped?
We'd love to hear from you.
?? Email: ashley@theresilientkid.co.uk
?? Instagram: @?theresilientkid
?? **Website:**www.theresilientkid.co.uk
YouTube Link: https://youtu.be/i9zKPohTEig
Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3XZ2skSiwcO46hSQLKCqSQ?si=wdhoyZRuR1O4W6IWpR092w
Use the hashtag #TheTalkWeNeverHad and share your story.
Pete is a composite character — built from the many parents and carers who have sat across from us over the years and said some version of the same thing: I want to do this differently but I don't know how. If you see yourself in Pete, that is entirely intentional. You are not alone — and it is never too late to open the door.
• An Educator's Guide to Raising Resilient Learners (Waitlist): https://theresilienthub.co.uk/educators-guide-waitlist
• The Resilient School training and consultancy: https://theresilientschool.co.uk/trs-services
• A Parents' Guide to Raising a Resilient Kid: https://amzn.eu/d/0196zmiI
• Newsletter sign-up: https://theresilienthub.co.uk/newsletter-signup
• Main website: https://theresilienthub.co.uk/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
• Email: ashley@theresilientkid.co.uk
The Resilient Kid Podcast is produced by Chantelle Venter at maddatu.com on behalf of The Resilient People, trading as The Resilient Kid, The Resilient Teen and The Resilient School.
Topics: anxiety, resilience, parenting, school wellbeing, confidence, boundaries, communication, mental health
